• The Fit Midwife

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Let’s talk about sex, baby! (Sings Salt n Pepper to myself every time I hear those 5 words).

Why am I talking about sex in Christmas week? Well, it is the week midwives actually hate. Because everyone goes out, gets merry, has a really good time and 9 months later we are elbow deep in placentas wondering if the baby boom will ever end. Yes... the weeks of Christmas and New Year are when those dreaded Septmeber babies are made. So I will see you lot in 9 months. But right now I am going to talk about sex when pregnant. Because it is Christmas and you cannot drink or eat any nice cheese so you may resort to the next fun thing.....

Yep, I’m going to talk about “doing it” when pregnant. So be prepared for really bad puns and innuendo, because, it makes me giggle even at 33 years old. But don’t worry, at least online you can hide the blushes when reading. Isn’t it funny how we are still so embarrassed to talk about sex. I mean, that is how you get pregnant (for most people, and if not, you’ve almost certainly had a really good try at it). And it keeps us midwives in a job and keeps the population booming.

So I won’t lie, this is all anecdotal advice from me today. I’ve never had to consider having sex whist growing a tiny human. The logistics, the fear, the hormones, the feeling too fat to be on top…. But you are having a baby, it won’t be the two of you anymore, for a very long time, so remember to cherish those moments and absolutely take full advantage of them. Now, let’s get down to business!

Once the morning sickness has left you, and that general icky feeling most mum’s report in the first trimester and you progress in to weeks 16 onwards, it’s a fact that the hormones step up a gear and you begin to feel horny… All the time! Most women tell me that, especially in their second trimester, they cannot get enough of their partner and find themselves pouncing on them whenever the mood strikes, much to their partners joy and usually, disbelief.

One of my friends felt so horny all the time she took a cardboard cut out of Chris Hemsworth (Thor) from the cinema and kept him in the kitchen. She said having something yummy to look at when her hubby was at work helped the fantasies……. I am actually wondering if she still has that cut out and if so would she be willing to lend it to me.

So the fantasising, the insatiability, it’s all normal. But let’s get physical for a minute. The progesterone and oestrogen hormones to mention just a couple are running through your body, these hormones sustain your pregnancy by keeping your body the perfect, evolving environment for pregnancy to thrive. Blood flow to all the reproductive organs is massively increased, which increases sensitivity in most places, I bet anyone can testify to that if they are pregnant, with your boobs especially! The body also increases vaginal lubrication, it’s a protection mechanism against infection. So all you need is some Barry White because your body is ready to go!

I always joke with Dads that babies get their dimples from sex in pregnancy (I’ll leave you to figure out how). And this is their biggest concern (little play on words there). But seriously, it’s safe! No-one’s manhood is impressive enough to open a cervix and touch the baby, despite what any man thinks. Sorry guys. It is a worry men have though, they don’t want to hurt the baby so gently remind them there is no chance of that without laughing and exclaiming you wish they were that big.

What can happen after sex when pregnant is that you can experience Braxton Hicks contractions. This is totally normal and not a problem. They usually settle down after 30-60 minutes. The same goes for back ache or period type cramps. Sex in pregnancy does not bring on premature labour, if it does happen, it was always going to happen. That being said “what gets it in, usually get’s it out” (my other favourite line), we recommend trying sex to induce labour when you go past your due date, this is because sperm has progesterone in it and this can ripen a cervix that is ready to labour!

Occasionally, you will get red spotting after having sex. As with any bleeding you need to call the midwife/doctor just for a quick check up and confirmation that everything is normal, which it usually is. Remember I told you about increased blood flow to the area! Check out my previous post on spotting and bleeding if you are unsure! If you experience heavy bleeding then please go to the hospital for a check up. And do remember to tell us you were having sex. We don't particularly care what you have been doing but we cannot treat you properly if we don't know all the facts.

One last thing, your baby bump can be cumbersome and literally get’s in the way, so work around it. It’s not ideal to be flat on your back when you have a growing baby bump (due to compressing of the vena cava – a large blood vessel down the right side of your body). So give these a bash instead:

Side Lying

Reverse Cowgirl

You on Top

Edge of The Bed/Table/Sofa

Doggy Style

Against the Wall/Shower Tiles

I know... The cartoon people are creepy right. But you'd be surprised how many women struggle with the logistics so I thought a visual aid would be good. And to be honest you probably adopted one of these positions to conceive anyhow.

So my parting advice is to get creative but most of all ENJOY yourself!

Nikki xx

#pregnancy #antenatal #sex

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